WHEN DAD BECOMES MUM

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WHEN DAD BECOMES MUM

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A sex change is major surgery, but the after effects can be just as traumatic for the family. Here are two different stories from the loved-ones of those affected

KIDS CALLED HIM A TRANNY AND A PERV
MELANIE Hamilton-Smith, 23, endured a wretched childhood in Bristol after her transsexual dad Toni won custody of her and her brother and sister in a landmark court ruling in 1989.
I REALISED my dad Tony was a bit different because he wore hairspray and nail varnish. But we all thought that was pretty cool, especially as he let us play with them.
When my parents split, we went to live with dad, who was by then dressing as a woman and asking us to call him Toni. Mum won access, but never bothered turning up so we lost contact. I've since learned she had a lot of problems and was quite traumatised by everything.

15 June 2005 By Jane Purcell Richard drank heavily after our son Gareth was born as his desire to become a woman grew stronger. I knew something had to be done or she would have ended her life. Most people think I must be a lesbian but I'm not interested in girls. Diane and I share a bed but we don't have sex and I don't miss it. She's a great cook and enjoys looking after our home while I'm at work. She is more feminine than me. I'm a trouser person but she wears skirts and dresses. She also waxes her legs and has electrolysis - I don't. People say we look and behave like sisters but our bond is stronger than that. We're soulmates - that's why we'll always stick together."

LOVE HOPE: Richard and Caroline's wedding day DIANE Hughes, 48, began hormone treatment eight years ago and underwent a sex change operation in September 2000. She is training to be a counsellor. "I'm not surprised Caroline stayed with me because she is my life partner, but a lot of people find that hard to understand. It is not a decision taken lightly and there was a lot of re-assessment to do. Her main worry was our son and whether he was going to be OK, but he's extremely well-adjusted. He doesn't drink or do drugs and has a steady girlfriend. He tells friends he's got two great mums but if he was asked in an official capacity he'd say I was his dad or parent. I invented Auntie Diane to begin with to give him time to adjust. But when he started asking questions we were open with him. I find men and women attractive but being in a good, stable relationship I don't act on those feelings."

GARETH Hughes, 16, has coped with his father's sex change with maturity. Aged eight he was able to explain to friends what a transsexual was. I MUST have been five when I guessed that the woman I knew as Auntie Diane was really dad. My parents have always been very open and when dad said I should call her Diane from now on, I just accepted it. In my eyes Diane is still my father but in a different body. She's still the tough one who does the manly things like mechanics. But I'm the man about the house now. We don't celebrate Father's Day but I once sent mum a card and changed the words to 'World's Best Mums'. When our secret came out I was scared about people's reactions but they were more curious than anything. I didn't get bullied at school apart from a bit of name-calling. I wouldn't say I'm embarrassed by Diane - my mother wanting a hug in public is more embarrassing than the fact that my father is a woman."

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